Something I have become more aware of lately,iI must admit,I would be at the fs the amount of small things we become unaware of in our daily wanderings through life.I must admit I would be up there in the front of the queue if the day of reckoning was to fall on me now.But its not,so I have time to put some things right or in order.I finally got myself a new white cane after losing the first one with in one week.Disgrace I know!The powers that be granted me a reprieve and rather than having a blind Multiple Sclerosis sufferer flummoxing around the streets of Helsinki,they issued it to me last week.Many thanks if your reading this!
The white cane of life
To tell the truth,when I was offered the cane some 5 weeks ago,I would not even touch it,let alone walk around in public with it.I guess this has something to do with our inbuilt animal instincts and not showing your injuries for fear of becoming the next prey.I would take it out with me on my rambles around Helsinki,but always being conscious to keep it well concealed under my jacket.I would only produce it like a magician,when I faced crossing busy roads.I remember my instructor telling me that this white cane will make my life so much easier.
Well today I can say,it really has.One of the most surreal things is when crossing a zebra crossing,the cars stop patiently but at some 10 meters distance.I don’t know;but do you think I am going to hit your cars with the cane.Strange,but funny in a way.
Now over these last 6 weeks I have began to evaluate my life again.No!It is not the mig-age crisis.I mean that as a result of having to take life a more leisurely pace,I have realised that some drastic and painful decisions would have to take place.
Friends or hangers-on
As a result of worsening health,due to Multiple Sclerosis,my allowances have automatically been raised.Some people who I foolhardily believed to be good friends,turned out to be nothing short of users and abusers.So after knowing one in particular for 18 years.I said good riddance and bog off.I am half to blame letting it go on so long,blue eyed as I am..I believe that I all ways choose to see the best in people.However after 18 years and spending a fortune with this guy,and only 10 or so times I have actually seen him visit an automatic cash machine,I slowly came to the indeterminable fact that I was flogging a dead horse so to speak.There are several others that I have surgically removed from my daily acquaintances,so life looks better already.It may sound cold and callous,but it needed to be done
Life now seems to be more in order and plans that were once only the talking of a dreamer,now seem to have some solid foundations and a new direction.I was on a very interesting forum the other day,for Multiple Sclerosis sufferers.There was a comment made by a younger than I lady from England.She was in the throws of being diagnosed with MS,and was almost desperately searching for some hope and support from fellow sufferers or doctors.One of the important points mentioned to her,was to find an interest and pursue it with some sort of keen interest.I had to post,as I myself know,if I did not have this Blog,then I know I would probably go silently insane or as Roger Waters so aptly wrote for Pink Floyd,become “comfortably numb”.
Never go back,all ways go forward
It is a strange feeling to come out of a mist that you were unaware you were even in to begin with.As has been said many times in many different places in history,it is like throwing the heavy shackles to one side.I actually feel better now than I did before I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.So beware Helsinki,there is a rejuvenated British Expatriate wondering the streets with a white cane!Have a peaceful and a Happy New Year
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