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A short while back I saw my Finnish Ophthalmologist and was given a prescription for some eye glasses.Well it seems that my vision has worsened yet again.As some of you are from previous posts I suffer from Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis.I took the news with a pinch of salt,when I first heard it.I was aware that my balance and sense of co-ordination had gone downhill over the last few years.The vision problem,I was more aware of. My Neurologist said that the disease progresses at differing speeds with different people.Fair enough I thought,as long as I do not go blind
Seeing My Wife
Over the last few months and I mean the last few months,I have become so unsteady on my feet that I have to think and plan before I stand up and walk.It is not only very frustrating but gives me a sense of insecurity.I was walking around the flat the other day,holding door frames and basically anything solid for support.Three times this month alone I have entered the kitchen,sat at the Pc and begun answering my emails.Boy did I get a shock when the fridge door was opened.Once I turned so fast I fell of the chair.After a minute getting myself together,I realised that my wife,Tuija was next to me helping me to get sorted out.The point here,is that I was totally unaware that she was even in the kitchen.
The situation as it stands now.is that I can only really see if someone is in my presence if they move.I cannot define an object further than 1 metre.Everything at a further distance appears as moving fuzzy blobs with no defined characteristics.
To get to the point of this post.The last few months have been a period of trying to come to terms with these changes with in myself and the situation of circumstances.I wrote a personal email to my father the other day and wrote,that I feel that I have pretty much done everything I wished to do in my Life.I have travelled the world,got the tee-shirt for all things on the other side of the fence so to say.partied till I have fallen with exhaustion and participated in most sports,trampoline,fencing,rugby and a few others.So like a tea bag that you place in hot water to infuse and extract all the taste,I can liken it as an allegory of myself.I have been in the water for long enough now.
Anything left that I wanted to do,I feel can be put on hold.After all,we as people do not know what lies around the next corner.So with that said;I go in to a specialised clinic in Helsinki,Finland on the 14 of this month(next Monday).It is a centre for visually impaired people.Their aim with the help of Neurologists,Ophthalmologists,Psychiatrists and support staff,is to help me come to terms with my failing vision and how I can adjust my life to it.I shall be an inpatient for two weeks so that they can properly access me.To tell you the truth I am looking forward to being there.As I said,”We do not know what lies around the next corner”
That is the magical thing about life and even though I can not sometimes see my Wife for tea bags,I know she is there,even if only by the fridge door
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